October 28, 2023

29 lessons in 29 years

  1. Don’t play hard to get. Not with lovers, not with friends. There’s no fucking time.
  2. You can still make lifelong friends past 25
  3. GO TO THERAPY. It will change your fucking life. I know that some people have worse problems, but you still deserve help. If you can afford it, do it. If not for you, for those around you.
  4. If you’re hesitating a lot, you probably don’t want it. Find something else
  5. It’s fine to make plans, it’s good to have long term goals, but nothing guarantees you the next five years or what life will be like then. Don’t wait too long to do what you want.
  6. Kissing someone you have a crush on is one of the best feelings in the world
  7. Don’t take any concept for granted. Question it. Find what fits you within it. Respectfully throw away the rest.
  8. Practice positive self talk in the mirror until it enters your head. Start simple. One kind sentence said straight into your own eyes every day. You’ll be blown away by the difference it makes.
  9. Invest in the place you live in. A couple art pieces, a plant, whatever - but make it feel like home. Whether you’re moving in 3 months or not. Make a home, a safe space for yourself with whatever you got.
  10. Our ability to learn things is astounding
  11. Drink one glass of water for two glasses of alcohol
  12. Good tequila (like “investment” tequila) is worth it.
  13. Nothing is permanent. Sometimes we make big choices that affect our lives that’s true but everything can evolve. Literally- I studied physics and chemistry and finance for 5 years and I can’t do mental math today. Would I be further along on my path if I had studied something else? Sure. But I’m doing it now anyways. Weigh your choices but don’t think it’s irreversible.
  14. Some things take years to happen. Enjoy the ride.
  15. Some things take years to forget. You’ll get through.
  16. Your parents are very imperfect and do not have the right answer or the best advice on everything. They might have 20, 30 or 40 years on you but they lived those in another world. Listen, respect, and then apply your own judgement.
  17. It is never wasted to tell people you love them.
  18. Guilt is the most useless emotion there is.
  19. It’s ok to be sad! You don’t need to try to not be sad all the time. Learning to live with sadness, to host sad feelings and let them move through me is one of the most useful things I’ve done in the past years.
  20. If you’re going to get home after the sun comes up, close your blinds before you leave.
  21. You can have as many labels as you want.
  22. Corporate jobs suck the creativity out of people. I get that we need them sometimes but be very aware of their effect on your mind’s ability to retain creative juice and energy.
  23. If he doesn’t ask if you came, don’t see him more than 3 times
  24. Intentionality is fucking powerful. If you really really truly are honest with what you want and put your mind on something, things will start to fall into place. I’ve seen this happen to me over and over again. Not with fickle desires, but with true deep honest ones.
  25. Learn rejection. I know this is basic but fuck it’s true. Get rejected as much as you can until it doesn’t alter your sense of self anymore.
  26. A basic one: time is worth more than money. Burn it into your brain. It’s basic because it’s true.
  27. Do not date people who haven’t done #3.
  28. It is 100% ok not to be close with some of your family. It’s blood and you might not be able to avoid them but you do not have to like all or any of them.
  29. It is 100% ok to change your mind. You do not have to hold the same beliefs or attachments for years. You get to forgive and grow and have phases where you simply cannot hold yourself up to certain values. Be gentle with yourself.

maybe i can help :)

I am no shrink or life expert. In fact life throws me a lot of lemons. But I'm pretty good at making lemonade, being resilient and (I've been told) giving advice. So, if you need an outsider's perspective, I'm here! On love & relationships, on family issues, on work, on anything really. I'll give you my take and maybe (hopefully) it'll help. 100% anonymous of course.

Thank you for reaching out! I will get back to you as soon as possible.
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