Like it was in the begining

To the guy who wanted the “like it was in the beginning” girl: you gave up. You fucking gave up. You looked at me and said, "This isn’t the person I signed up to date 18 months ago. I signed up for an HR executive that’s a little gay, not someone who uses ‘queer writer’ as a hashtag.” I wish you’d said, “I love this girl. I see my life with this girl. It’s so easy to be with her. I’m going to learn about her community. Queer people. Writers. Dating them. I’m going to put in emotional work and make this last.” Instead, you poured your energy into prolonging the status quo as long as possible, until it inevitably died. So yes, I’m a bit bitter. And angry. I’ve been with the guy who wants it like it was in the beginning several times. The guy who’s at a standstill. I’ve been with you. You were the best version though. It’s never been easier to love someone. But I should have seen that you were a part of their club. So, maybe it’s at me that I’m a little mad. But I’m trying to be kinder to myself. I guess I should be kind to us both. We did our best.

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